You see, I have been single for 28 out of the 29 Valentine’s Days in my life. And each of the 27 single Valentine’s prior to this year has held a varying level of heartache. Even my “Jesus dates” in the past with candles, dinner, and the whole shebang would usually include some pity party time.
But this year was different.
“Singles Awareness Day” was the farthest thought from my mind. My heart was filled, content, and energized.
While prayerfully searching for the difference this year, the Holy Spirit revealed the following:
- I recently broke through some bondages working back through Steps to Freedom in Christ. The bitterness and perfectionism I was hanging onto before were standing in the way of the full abundance of God. Those barriers have since been destroyed.
- For the first time, I wasn’t focused on what I was or wasn’t doing on Valentine’s. This year, Little Man’s mom and I planned a day full of activities for him. I was pouring my energy, giftings and thoughts into someone else.
The day included lunch out, a trip to Whole Foods, baking, cooking, and making homemade organic finger paints. All things I love, but more importantly, all with and for people I love.
My job is unique in that I get to do these things most days, but making them special for Valentine’s was an extra treat.
I made myself dinner that night—Sea Bass with roasted garlic Brussels and carrots (a wonderful gift from my boss)—and dined with Jesus. Nothing fancy, just eating in each other’s company.
I felt cherished; I felt loved, and I felt something else that I couldn’t place my finger on…until reading my friend Ivette’s new post, “Chosen” that is. Yes, chosen is the exact word. I felt chosen.
And still do.
I might even dare say it’s the first time I’ve tangibly felt that way in the course of everyday life. Don't get me wrong, I've known it intellectually for a long time and have felt Papa's love in so many ways, but tangibly feeling chosen is something different.
It’s different than contentedness; it’s even different than abundant joy. It’s a reality I still have trouble wrapping my mind around, yet know, without a doubt, in my heart is more real than my very being.
Yes, this year held an actual Happy Valentine's Day.
I credit much of it to the amazing community of providential relationships in my life. Friends that provided me with prayer cover, friends that encouraged me and walked with me breaking bondages, and friends who shared in the day itself.
If you are a part of my life in these ways, you have no idea how thankful I am for you! You bless me more than you could ever know! Thank you!